


Drinking From An Empty Glass

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots, Vesperteen (Band)
Genre: Affairs, Alcohol, Bathtubs, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Cigarettes, Established Relationship, Flowers, Hotels, M/M, Phone Sex, Swimming Pools, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:45:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "This song..it's about loving someone who doesn't really...love you back."





	1. Baby, Let Me See Your Eyes So I Don't Forget

Josh always finds himself in the worst situations.

It wasn't in his best intentions when he bought tickets to the the Vesperteen concert that he knew he'd be seeing an old flame.

Nor would he be drinking watered-down liquor as he reminisced about light touches and stolen kisses in the back of a van that didn't belong to Tyler Joseph.

The cheap lights and broken speakers couldn't hide the glances of shifty eyes asking for permission onstage. Josh's heart fluttered.

It wasn't the wisest decision, he thought, watching his feet lead him backstage. The fans could wait for pictures.

He was tipsy, head clouded with dark curls and stormy eyes and star tattoos. Not the nimble fingers and crooked smile he belonged to now.

For once, they're alone when Josh stumbles through the door. Colin is smoking a cigarette and scowling.

"I thought you'd come find me," He licks his lips. "are you lonely? Or just looking for trouble?"

"I wanted to see you," Josh stands awkwardly, trying his absolute best not to stare at the inked skin peeking out from that ragged white tank top. It drives him insane.

Colin scoffed. "I think you might want to do a little more than see, don't you?" Smoke curled into the ceiling and dissipated against the worn covering. "Sit."

Josh obeys, legs crossed as he takes a seat across from his once-lover, the folding chair beneath him squeaking with his weight.

The tension is thick until Colin asks a simple question.

"So you've got a boyfriend now?"

Josh nods quietly, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth. What would Tyler say if he saw him here right now?

"Bet he treats you nice."  
The cigarette sizzles when it's smashed into a makeshift ashtray.

"He does," Josh feels himself get defensive and hates it because he knows Colin is doing this on purpose.

"I should hope so, since you ran away from me to catch him," Colin's eyes bore into the maple ones he used to see every night. A longing tugs his heart down farther than it should.

"It's not like that," Josh sighs. "I didn't..run away. Tyler and I were friends before we dated."

He doesn't get a reply.

"Look. I want," He screws his face up, shaking his head. "I want to kiss you. And I don't fucking know why."

If there were any boundaries before, they were torn down as fast as the words left his mouth.

He's pulled up into a kiss-not a soft one, no, this is greedy and jealous and swollen full of unspoken lust.  
He craves it.

Colin's once smooth demeanor is swept away, the seductive persona Josh melted beneath now coming to the surface.

It becomes clear now when Josh's eyes lock onto a vase resting upon a rickety desk. Cherry blossoms.

His favorite flower.

It's a stupid detail, really. A small, minor thing any normal person would brush off as scenery.

Why Colin would keep them in his dressing room is a mere mystery.

Maybe to remember? Maybe to forget.

He's interrupted by a pair of lips on his neck.

"You're dirty," Colin purred, fingertips grazing along Josh's chin. "cheating on your boyfriend with me. What a dirty, dirty boy."

The room is dimly lit. It has a sort of pink hue that gives off a feeling of nausea.  
It smells like those damn blossoms permeating the air.

Josh tips his head back, relishing in the feeling of having his hands tangled in those wild locks again. He shouldn't feel happy.

"No marks," He gasps. "please."

Colin smirks. "We'll see." But he doesn't make any.  
He knows how important this is.

"Lips," Josh begs. "kiss me, on the lips, _please _, Colin." He feels small.__

____

They never changed, the pair of lips. They still taste like cigarettes and cherries. Josh is hungry.

He feels awful when he's tossed against a wall, legs scrambling to wrap themselves around a lanky waist. He feels dirty.

But that's the price to pay, isn't it?

He moans freely when he knows he shouldn't-knows that there's dozens of teenage girls that probably recognize the noises outside.

Colin pulls away when Josh's hips start to move. His pupils are blown wider than they've been in a while.  
Josh wants to cry.

He steps back, but hits the wall, chest heaving. "I-I don't.." Lips parted, eyelashes stuttering.

He's vulnerable.

A petal floats onto chipped mahogany and he winces.

"I have to go."

Colin's fingernails are still painted black. Josh is reminded of this when they dig into his back, signaling that neither of them want to leave.

The leather of his fingerless gloves sticks to sweaty skin after they separate, lips just a bit redder than before.

It's quiet, besides the sound of their breath and a broken ceiling fan above them.

"Why did we do this?" Josh asks in the doorway, syrup eyes flickering like the lighter in Colin's hand. "Why did I do this?"

"You missed me?" The bright red glow of Colin's cigarette seems out of place with all the gentle colors around the room. It cuts through the smell of cherry blossoms.

Josh stares at the floor. "I won't be back."

"I know," Colin takes a seat on a tattered leather couch with too many holes in it. "but I will."

"Will you come visit me?"

Josh swallows audibly, regretting the fact that he just nodded. That he just accepted this offer of deception.

More petals fall, soft pink blooms wilting away like the love that was once shared between the two.

He doesn't think such delicate flowers should be residing in a place like this.

It hurts his heart.

Josh closes his eyes and leaves through the back door, too much of a coward to try and face anyone who might've heard him.  
He's ashamed, and it finally shows when his face is blushed red with embarrassment.

His drive back to their apartment is long and full of guilt, lips sealed shut.

He wishes he could say the same for his eyes. It happens almost instantaneously, tears rolling down his cheeks from the pure shame he felt.

He _loved _Tyler, with all his heart. The brunette had been so good to him, and to just throw it all away for an ex?__

____

He didn't deserve Tyler at all.

____

But now the main focus was to make up a story for why his lips were swollen and eyes puffy.

____

He smelled like cherry blossoms.

____


	2. Can You Come A Little Closer So I Know You're There?

Josh doesn't get the reaction he expects when he comes home an hour and a half late.

Instead of an angry, spiteful partner, he gets soft coos and a fretful Tyler worried sick about him. Not mad at all.

"Your allergies are getting real rough, aren't they?" He smiles sympathetically, eyes rolling slowly over his boyfriend's puffed lips and red eyes. "Must be the gardeners. I saw them cutting the weeds a while ago."

Tyler looks extremely tired. The bags under his eyes just can't be made up for with that bright smile. It hurts.

Josh wants to cry with relief but instead nods shakily. "Yeah. I'll have to take my meds." He doesn't.

It's 12:32 AM.

"Did you eat anything?" Tyler hums quietly as he makes off towards their small kitchen, and Josh pretends not to notice the empty liquor bottles crowding the counter.

The liquid left inside shines like oil.

"No, but I'm not really hungry," Josh admits, running a hand through his freshly dyed pink hair. "the venue kinda..took away my appetite."

"It was that gross, huh?" Tyler chuckles, shutting the empty fridge.

He's not sure why-maybe it's the fact that he'd had so much time while he was waiting for Josh, but he notices the condition of their apartment.

It's cramped. Dingy. The feeble things Josh always tries to keep clean just get dusty again, patiently waiting for the next time.

Tyler works overtime. Tries his damned hardest to give Josh everything. It would seem that they would have a decent amount of money by now, yet the gigs and extra hours just didn't seem to wage against debt and bills.

Once in a while Josh will find flowers on the dining room table and a note that says his lover won't be back until morning.

And when he does return, the purple bags and sad eyes can't be made up for with sweet kisses and petal-soft touching.

Josh notices Tyler's stupor, his laugh lines quieted and silent, hanging on his face.

"Why don't you go to bed?" He says gently, taking those calloused piano hands into his. "I'll turn everything off. You need sleep. We have a pretty big gig tomorrow, yeah?"

It brightens Tyler's face, at least for a little bit.

And Josh is left with his own guilt.

He flicks off the half-broken lightbulbs, saving one as he sinks down on their second-hand couch.

His face rests in his hands. They smell like Colin.

_"Will I see you again?" ___

____

A memory passes through his mind; one of a late night with fearful tears and cracked promises.  
Is it bad that he misses it?

Is it wrong to long for a boy taken away so many years ago?

_Yes. ___

____

He can't help but think about those nights. He hates himself for it.  
Slow, sleepless nights. Colin had wanted to wrap him in flowers and call him his.

__

The clock on the wall reads 1:13 and Josh decides that it's not the best time for remembering.

__

Everything is dark when he stumbles to the bedroom, choking on the lump stuck in his throat. Tyler is sound asleep, his snores echoing delicately off the walls.

__

The pit in the bottom of his stomach grows when he crawls into bed beside the brunette, still wearing the same skinny jeans and t-shirt he threw on for the concert.

__

They smell like cherry blossoms.

__

He buries his face into the pillow and dreams about fingerless gloves pressing him against the wall over and over.

__

Again.

__

The entire night is filled with the sounds of chirping and Josh's mind caving in on itself.

__

_Morning. ___

_____ _

Tyler is gone when Josh wakes, an 'I love you' note left on his crowded night table.

_____ _

His phone is buzzing in his pocket.

_____ _

He ignores it and crawls out of bed, ultimately feeling disgusting from last night. He needs a shower.  
It's a shame the landlord turned their water off because of late bills.

_____ _

So instead Josh washes his face with one of the gallon jugs of water kept around the apartment, his grimy hair tucked away into a snapback. His phone is buzzing again, almost burning a hole into his pocket.

_____ _

His pink hair reminds him of the flowers decorating Colin's photoshoot pictures.

_____ _

The blossoms curled so effortlessly around him, as if he'd always been there. Josh thought they were beautiful.

_____ _

His hair was too bright to resemble such beauty. He sniffed at his reflection in the mirror, hoping maybe it would show him something worth living for one day.

_____ _

Josh tosses his phone onto the bed when he redresses into something more comfortable-comfort being Tyler's gym shorts and a ratty Blink-182 t-shirt. He doesn't bother to look who's trying to contact him.

_____ _

One soggy bowl of cereal later and Josh finally drags himself to the living room, where his phone sits, waiting ever so politely for its owner to answer.

_____ _

He really doesn't have time for this. But maybe it's Tyler? Maybe he's gotten into a horrible accident?

_____ _

Why won't Josh just answer his God damn phone?

_____ _

He knows who's talking to him.

_____ _

It feels as if there's cherry blossom petals floating in his stomach when he grabs his cell phone from the coffee table. He wants to throw them all up and crush them under his thumbs.

_____ _

It's a text. Just one. Notified for multiple times on account of him not reading it sooner.

_____ _

It makes the cheap food that barely settled in his belly come right back up.  
He vomits in the trash can, reminding himself to take it out later to avoid confrontation.

He's shaky, pupils wide with pure and utter anxiety just from a few simple words.  
Shame.

_____ _

His phone sits on the sticky carpet, the screen stuck on Messages.

_____ _

_colin: see you at the show tonight ___


	3. Heart Of Stone, I Crumble When You Turn Away From Me

"You seem really tense, babe, are you all right?"

"Josh?"

"Hey," Tyler's hands find themselves on Josh's shoulders, snapping him from whatever mind prison he was stuck in. "you okay?"

Josh starts, looking as if he were lost. "Um, yeah, I'm fine, Ty, just a little nervous." He shakes his head, waving his boyfriend off with a fake smile of reassurance.

They're backstage, pacing in anticipation for one of their biggest gigs yet. Almost 400 people.

And 399 of them aren't Colin.

Josh sips at the cheap bottled spring water the venue provides, only to swallow with a grimace. Spring water tasted fake, and he didn't know why.

He's visibly shaking, only adding to Tyler's suspicions of what could be wrong.  
Stupid, he tells himself.

"I'll be out getting everything ready." Tyler's voice sounds muffled in his ears.  
"Okay," He answers dumbly.

He's left alone.

As if on cue, the phone sitting peacefully on the table beside him starts to ring, one name and one name only illuminating the screen.

_Colin. ___

____

"..Hello?"

"I'm in the front row." Josh's heart drops to his stomach.

"Why are you here?" He chokes out, biting back his tears. "This can't be a regular..th-thing, Colin. I told you."

He hears a scoff on the other end. "That's not what you said when you were begging to get in my pants last night."

"I'm hanging up," Josh doesn't though, his trembling fingers too scared to press the end button. His face is almost as red as the roses someone had left for them in a vase.  
Josh hates roses.

They're much too deceiving, with gentle petals that pull you in and thorns that push you out just as fast.

Colin is the first to hang up, ending the call with a simple, "See you soon, love."

Josh wants to throw up again.

His phone is quickly shoved into his back pocket when he hears the door open once more, his oh so loving boyfriend finishing off a reply to-who? Who knows. Josh's head is fuzzy.

It's only the soft hands that belong to Tyler that bring him back to reality, chocolate eyes clouded with worry.

"Hey, it's gonna be all right, yeah? I'm sure you can't be that nervous." The brunette had no idea.

Josh pushes himself into his boyfriend's arms, feeling relief wash over him at the scent of pine that always followed the taller boy.

He faked another smile, burying his face in his boyfriend's neck. "I love you, Ty. So, so much. Okay?" He has to say it to make himself believe it.

Tyler chuckled, pressing those feather-light kisses to Josh's neck. "I love you so so much, too. Now, we've got around ten minutes until we're on," He tilted his head with a smile. "got any ideas for what we should do?"

Josh decided that he should make it up to Tyler, despite the fact that he was oblivious to everything that had happened the night before.

And so the roses sat wilting on the table as the two had their fun on the ratty old couch across the room. 'Fun' meaning Josh was seated on his boyfriend's lap while they made out hungrily.

It was refreshing. Calming.

Nice to know the feeling of affection once in a while.

This isn't how Tyler usually kisses. His lips always moved delicately; calculating each touch with precise decisions.

Right now, however, reminds Josh of last night. Except this time it's not adultry.

Fingers soon to be pressing piano keys linger over his body, placing imaginary marks onto pale skin. It's soft.

But not pure.

"I want you," Josh's voice is shaky and slurred thick with lust. He should've waited until after the show.

Tyler reminds him of this just as the thought hits him. "Not now, baby, wait until the van, okay? I'll treat 'ya real nice," He purrs, sucking an experimental hickey just below the collar of his boyfriend's shirt.

Josh thinks about who might see it later and whimpers.

He shouldn't let this ruin his life. He shouldn't let another person control him. Own him.

"Ty, I-I can't," He pushes off. "I'm gonna get..you know." Tyler nods in understanding, his cheeks flushed bright red. It's a sight for sore eyes.

"We should get going, then?"

The once sensual and serene moment is ruined by awkward nods and sweaty hair. Their emotions are hidden by the hoods over their heads, thank God.

The crowd cheers and Josh's heart skips and Tyler sighs.

The roses start to wilt in the humid air. It makes him happy.

The minute Josh steps onto the stage he can feel Colin's eyes.  
They bore into him like the first time they'd-

He misses a beat during the first song. Idiot.

Nobody notices but Tyler glances over with a raised eyebrow as he spits out lyrics to a song he wrote for no one.

Everything afterwards is a blur, lights and voices and those God forsaken eyes watching the entire time. Josh nearly passes out.

He comes back to reality when Tyler addresses him during the last song. He can't even hear what the brunette is saying.

The hands trying to grasp him as he pounds on an old drum make him feel dirty. Tyler watches with sad eyes.

The track for Trees plays in the background but he just can't get Feathers So Hollow out of his head. It's haunting.

Confetti sticks to his face and he finally locks his gaze onto Colin.

There's a smile-more of a smirk, really. A look that says, 'I own you' plainly. Tears threaten Josh's eyes when he climbs back onstage.

"We're twenty one pilots, and so are you, thank you so much!" Tyler calls out, grinning from ear to ear. This had to be it. Their ticket to fame.

Right?

His fingers are tight around Josh's waist.

Josh doesn't bother trying to wipe away the strips of paper stuck to his body, mind all too focused on other things.

Instead he watches Tyler talk to someone-maybe a record label manager? Through a doorway before he leaves, giving an excited bounce to his boyfriend. He's alone.

He paces the dressing room, watching as faded confetti dries and floats off of him like rotten flower petals.

Speaking of..

He takes the vase of roses and dumps them in the trash. Thorns and all. Their love- their beauty-is fake.

Just like his.

_colin: meet me in the back ___

____

Why does he listen? Why does he obey? Why does he sneak past Tyler, his lover, his friend, his BANDMATE?

____

"You looked awfully flustered this evening," Colin is smoking again, one foot perched against the crumbling brick behind him. Josh just now notices the faint pink petals tangled in his hair.

____

Pretty.

____

"was it something I did?"

____

"No," Josh shakes his head, cheeks blossoming into shades of crimson almost immediately. He's lying.

____

"Do you really love him?" Ashes drift onto the ground, crumbling over dirty asphalt. "Tyler?"

____

"Yes," Josh chokes on his answer, feeling tears wet his eyes again. Crybaby. "I love him so m-much."

____

"And you love me?"

____

That's it. That's the question. The one that freezes Josh's blood, stops his heart, breaks his bones one by one until he's nothing but submissive under Colin's boot.

____

He stares at the ground, letting those dreaded tears drip with ease. They make no mark on the pavement.

____

Colin could be made of flowers, he thinks, the way his fingers cradle his cheek so patiently.

____

His touches are soft, petite.

____

Something Josh wishes he could accomplish.

____

"Do you love me?" Colin repeats, his cigarette long gone, brushed into the ground. His eyes are pools of petals that break Josh's heart.

____

He looks up and stifles a sob.

____

" _Yes. _"__

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh ho ho


	4. I'm Pouring Everything Into Loving You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of people dont like josh and thats ok  
> hes a big boy he'll realize his mistake

Josh is unholy.

His boyfriend of almost a year is not even a mile from him, yet he sits and lets an ex-lover pepper his neck with dirty words.

A sin. Adultery.

"Please, please," He doesn't even know what he's begging for, hands desperate to grasp hold of something stable. Something to keep him from collapsing.

"I want," He doesn't know what he wants. "I need-"

"Shh, baby, I know," Colin's words are silk running shivers down Josh's back, his hands already pushed past the boundaries that were never there to start. "You wanna use your mouth for me?"

No. No, no, this isn't how this works, Josh.

Think of Tyler.

" _Yes _," He whimpers, letting his knees scrape against the jagged asphalt beneath him. Asphalt that's probably seen its fair share of knees, drugs, alcohol, and, well, whatever was in the puddle next to him.__

____

"You're eager," Colin tilts his head. "Are you a slut, Joshua?"

Slut.

Oh.

Why does it make Josh pant and keen?

"Yours," His sentences are feeble. "yours. Please, just..lemme make you feel good."

His eyes are cloudy, glazed like an oil spill. Or someone who's about to get throat-fucked. Pick your poison.

"Mine?" Colin's fingers are effortless when they yank at Josh's fading hair, forcing a regrettable squeak from the boy below him. "You're awful generous, sweetheart."

"Colinn-" Josh tugs at the jeans in front of him, his teeth working at his bottom lip like never before. Colin doesn't argue and goes silent, the sly half-smile on his face saying millions.

Josh's hands are shaking, cold palms resting against sturdy hips as his fingers pull down two layers of fabric oh so slowly.

If anyone had seen them now, they would've passed it off as just another couple who couldn't wait for the bedroom.

Josh's nose met a messy happy trail as his face was pushed forward. He felt ashamed that taking everything that was given to him was so easily accomplished.

It's not like he and Tyler had gotten much time alone lately.  
So why was his gag reflex suddenly so laid back?

His throat begged for mercy, but he just swallowed and got more praise. Colin's fingers were rough in his hair, the other hand cupping Josh's cheek lovingly, as if the setting they were in wasn't crude and obscene.

Josh's hand sneaks down to his neglected cock, pressing over the denim of his jeans with trembling digits. The whimpers that reverberate from his mouth only earn him more sweet-spoken words to caress his ears.

Everything is so fast, his eyes can't take it all in. Colin tilts his head back and petals fall from his hair.

He's an angel.

An angel that warns Josh of what's about to come, yet he's still latched on.  
So this is what he meant by whore.

Josh takes control, and Colin lets him, his chest blotched with red. He's panting out profanities slurred with dirty talk and Josh thinks he's had a few.

There's a cry of his name and the line of trust had been broken with one jerk of Colin's hips.

Cherry blossom petals settle on the ground. A few even landed in Josh's hair. He wants to cry.

Colin is tucked away and has already slipped back into his cold persona when Josh is desperately waiting for an order.

"Don't swallow," He drawls, and Josh doesn't.

Instead he looks up with obeying eyes while slender hands grip his jaw and force his mouth open.  
White seeps over his fingers in slow rivulets, and that's when he smiles.

"Take the rest," He hums, wiping his hand on his jeans. "then take care of yourself."

Josh doesn't have time to waste. He's pressing against his cock through his jeans, whining and begging for release, as if he had to ask in the first place.

He comes with a squeal of Colin's name, a small wet patch soaking through the material. Gross.

And then, he does the stupidest thing of all.  
He cries.

He sobs at Colin's feet, the post-orgasm wave still forcing him to quiver and jerk without warning. He's frail.

"Hey," Those fucking hands. Those God damn hands-they're so delicate on his face, so easily smooth and careful. "get up, Josh."

Josh is pulled up into a hug he craves, face nuzzled in the crook of Colin's neck, just as he'd done so many times in the past.

"Still with me?" His voice shakes just slightly because he KNOWS this is more than what Josh thought it was going to be and he sees what it's done to the poor thing.  
It breaks his heart.

"Mm-yeah," Josh softens his breathing, hastily wiping tears from his face. "Sorry."

They stand there for a while, just touching. It reminds Josh of warm lillies and soft daisies.

Kind.

"You gonna be okay?" His scraggly pink hair is carded through, mussing up the sex hair he sported moments ago.

Josh nods, sniffling. "Just need to clean up-I-I'm good." He's not.

"Okay," Colin's gaze becomes more mellow. "I love you."

His eyes search needily for something in Josh's, but it's hard to tell what.

Those eyes are just what ties Josh down, too. Pity.

"I love you too," But it doesn't feel empty this time.

Their parting of ways is simple; Josh goes back to his partner and Colin slinks back into the shadows. They've made a bond; a pact.

A silent one, at that.  
One that entails nights of phone calls and regretful words.

The hotel they're staying at tonight has a pool. Maybe Josh can drown his emotions in it.

"Josh, where the Hell were you? I've been looking forever-and what did you do to your jeans? Were you drinking again?"

Josh meets his boyfriend's lips in a kiss, despite his being so swollen and puffy. He'll explain later.

"I'm sorry. I got sidetracked looking around and got a bit lost. I had one drink, but it ended up on my lap after some asshole tried to feel me up," He lies through his teeth, taking on a shy smile.

Pathetic.

Tyler's eyes turn dark. "Someone tried to-wait, who was it? I probably know them," He grimaced, glancing behind Josh's shoulder. "I fucking hate that stuff, baby, why didn't you text me when it happened?"

Josh shows off a blank screen. "My phone died."

"Well, you're here now," Tyler sighs, wrapping an arm around his-loving? Boyfriend. "and I have good news! The guy I was talking to was a record label manager, and he said we could record an EP to get our music out there!" He chirped, the smile on his face big enough to light an entire room.

Josh's eyes lit up. "Really? Holy shit, that-that's so awesome, Ty!" He felt awful.

All this. Just for him. And he just blew his ex.

"And I was thinking," Tyler's hand squeezed his waist. "we could do a little celebrating at the hotel..?"

Josh bit his worn lip. "I've been waiting for you to say that for a long time." He brushed a stray cherry blossom petal from his sleeve before the brunette could see.

"I love you," Tyler concluded, reaching down to press a kiss against Josh's cheek.

"I love you too," His voice cracked.

It was _empty _.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha feel good inc. amiright  
> stfu @me

**Author's Note:**

> cherry blossoms are important   
> pay attention.


End file.
